Friday, May 15, 2015

Contact the Author

The credit for this post belongs to Heather Havrilesky who wrote a hilarious column for the "Shouts & Murmurs" page of The New Yorker entitled "How to Contact the Author." I'm just including little snippets. You can read the whole thing here:

http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2014/09/08/contact-author

"I love to hear from my readers. My readers are my everything, and hearing from them makes me feel so blessed! So, connect with me, already! Here’s how:
 
Friend me on Facebook. My readers are my besties 5ever!
 
Follow me on Twitter: @youcompleteme33. I follow back, because I want to know what you’re thinking about, every second of every day. Your little mind-doodles are sweet nourishment to my soul!
 
Add me to your network on LinkedIn. Networking is so awesome!
 
Follow me on Instagram: @icantlivewithoutyou95. Great new pics of me and my closest friends & family on there! Check out the whole crew! ;-)
 
Do you have any questions for me? Tweet away! I ❤ reader questions, no matter how personal or prying. I can’t wait to reply to your inquiries in front of hundreds of strangers!
 
Why don’t you text me, in fact? I love getting texts from my readers: 1-555-913-1212. Sexts are also totally welcome, any time of day. Feel free to push my boundaries! When my readers interrupt my life with their inquisitive digital messages, I feel truly blessed.
 
Also, call me at home, anytime! I’d love to hear your voice right now. 1-555-913-1213. My readers are my sun and my moon and my stars, and I adore it when they check in with me, even when I’m about to sit down for dinner or I’m in the middle of watching something on TV. My readers are my first priority, always.
 
In fact, drop by my house! I love it when readers swing by and say hello and introduce themselves: 554 Ruby Lane, Sacramento, CA 95831. I feel so blessed when someone cares enough to invade my personal space! Dinnertime works fine. Middle of the night, also perfect. I am so incredibly humbled to have you in my life, whoever the hell you are!
 
Please do buy my book on Amazon, though.
Please.
Pretty please? 

1 comment:

Catherine A. Winn said...

Too, too funny! Thanks for sharing snippets and the link :)