Friday, May 29, 2009

The Questions That I will No Longer Answer

Charles here, making preparations for Sunday’s book event.*

I have noticed that folks in government positions (US House Speaker Pelosi) and Hollywood celebs (Mel Gibson) can up and announce that they will no longer be answering questions on certain topics. This may sound arrogant but it probably saves time in press conferences and other interviews since there won’t be a lot of wasted questions where the answer is just going to be “I’m done answering that question” anyway. So to avoid any “wasted questions” in this Sunday’s event, I felt I would make a handy list for you of…

The Questions I Will No Longer Be Answering

· Are you tired of James Patterson calling you daily to discuss character development?
· Which is your favorite noun?
· Are any three-toed sloths killed in your books?
· To what extent did the Li-Lobanov Treaty of 1896 lead to the Boxer Rebellion?
· Does having opposable thumbs make it easier to develop multi-level plots structures?
· Do you ever get tired of reading all that fan mail you get?
· Why do you always use the same numbering sequence for the pages in your books?
· If two trains leave the same station traveling in opposite directions, who killed the butler?
· Why do I love your books so much that I find myself compelled to buy a dozen copies at every event, even though I already own cases of your books?
· Do these shoes match my eyes?

I know this may make me sound elitist, but it will save some time for other questions.

See you there.

*Sunday, from 2-5 at Moonshines Café in Oakville, Ontario. Join me and fellow Type M bloggers Vicki and Rick, along with authors David Waltner-Towes and Madeline Harris-Callway for a lively discussion of bookish things. BTW – they serve booze at this joint!

1 comment:

Vicki Delany said...

I get the second last one all the time, too.