Developing A Tough Skin

 

Reading Tom’s and Rick’s posts from the last couple days reminds me that writing is not for the faint of heart. At least if you want to be a published writer. Your work won’t appeal to everyone and may, as in Tom’s case, spark the need for someone to write you a letter and tell you why (in this case it felt more like a lecture) they didn’t. And why they’d never read your work again.

I’ve never had anyone write me such a letter (yet), but I really haven’t been writing that long so I’m sure I’ll get something at some point. And I’ve never had anyone come up to me at a signing event and tell me they read one of my books and disliked it, as someone did to Rick. In that case, I picture the person saying what she said and tossing the book on the table in disdain.

I have had someone come up to me at a conference and tell me the cover of one of my books wasn’t great. All I did was nod and say thank you for your feedback. Somehow, criticizing a cover doesn’t get to me like criticizing my words. Probably because I didn’t create the cover in the first place.

But I’ve had my share of bad reviews. I remember reading a review of one of the first short stories I ever had published and feeling like I wanted to curl up into a ball. I think I actually cried. The review was quite thoughtful, but it made a point that I remember to this day. It said that the reviewer felt like I’d given up toward the end of the story and was racing to the finish to just get it done. After some thought, I realized they were right. I have a tendency to get tired toward the end of a project (no matter what it is) and want to just get it over with. To this day, I remember what that reviewer said and slow myself down toward the end of a project, making sure I’m not just trying to “get it done.”

But, from that point on, I pretty much haven’t read reviews, good or bad, unless they are part of a blog tour. I just don’t have a thick enough skin to deal with bad ones and, for even the good ones, if they mention one teeny tiny thing that’s negative, I fixate on that. I do occasionally break that rule for good reviews just to see what’s being said, but it’s pretty rare.

That doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate all of those reviews, good or bad. I think reviews are for readers more than the writer, anyway.

I’ve definitely acquired a thicker skin than I had when I read that short story review. But I’m still a work in progress. I’m hoping for the day when any negative comments will just roll off my back and I won’t feel the sting.