Well, my wife and I got our second vaccination last week — which is the reason I missed my Tuesday spot here — so life should be all rosy now, shouldn’t it? Pre-pandemic freedom should be beckoning at every turn, right?
Somehow it isn’t.
Maybe something has changed in me due to what we’ve been through over the past year-and-a-half. I don’t feel any less free, and since getting the second vaccination, I’ve been having really bad dreams. You know, the kind where you’re supposed to be someplace and you just can’t get there, or your house is crumbling around you and you can’t do anything to stop it.
As for writing, I had to throw out a whole chapter the other day because I got off on this tangent that seemed too grim, too filled with angst to be included in my story. I don’t want it to go there.
It’s troubling and I’m hoping that this is just temporary. Maybe my subconscious is worried about our new reality or possibly this is all due to my concern about those near and dear to me who haven’t yet been fully vaccinated.
To all of you out there: are you experiencing the same sort of thing? If you’re an ink-stained wretch like me, are you having issues with your plots unexpectedly taking dark turns?
And if you have experienced this, did you eventually snap out of it?
I got my second dose of the vaccine about a month and a half ago. I expected to feel relieved, but didn't really. The dreams I've had haven't been about disasters. They're usually about me being somewhere unmasked and everyone else has a mask on!
ReplyDeleteThe cozy I'm working on hasn't taken a dark turn yet, but I know that I am writing very slowly these days.
Today California has lifted all of the restrictions. That's causing me a bit of anxiety. I'm not sure I'll feel back to normal for quite a while.
Also, many years ago, I had what I called my control dreams. They were all horrible, horrible disasters like plane crashes with dismembered bodies or big fires. Things like that. In every one of them I wanted to help, but could do nothing. I could only watch horrible things happen to people. I finally figured out that I was having these because I'd lost a sense of control in my job. They went away eventually when I got control back.
ReplyDeleteRick, I understand some of what you're feeling. I had my second shot yesterday, and while part of me felt a sense of relief, another part still holds anxiety and anger at all the unvaccinated people who are now mask-free and not distancing. I tutor two adult students, and one refuses to be vaccinated, in spite of working in a restaurant, which is apparently not requiring their employees to get the vaccine.
ReplyDeleteWhile waiting for my vaccine, I spoke with a McDonald's employee who said that he and one other employee at his location are the only ones getting the vaccine. I find it scary that so many working in the food service industry are not vaccinated and don't seem to be planning to be. Just read a NYT article about the majority of those hospitalized with Covid are now younger and unvaccinated.
I think I'm going to continue to mask up in indoor locations when I know or suspect that I'm around unvaccinated people. As of this week, practically no one was wearing masks at my local grocery store, and that was a bit unsettling. I have no urge to dine indoors at any restaurant in the near future. At least it feels good to take the mask off outside -- that's one plus I'm holding on to.