Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Computer translation to the rescue!

by Rick Blechta

For today’s post, we’re going to have fun, courtesy of Vicki. She found or was sent a link to a reprint of the Arthur Ellis Awards shortlist announcement made last Thursday.

That’s a good thing, right? The word is being spread around the world. The shortlisted books will garner increased sales due to their notoriety. Everyone, publishers and authors will win.

Except there’s a catch with this particular version of the Arthur shortlist.

We believe what you’re about to see was translated into another language and then translated back into English by one of those online, automated translation sites. The results are often unintentionally hilarious.

Vicki alerted me to what was done to the novella category in which we’re both nominated (an honour to be nominated, especially alongside my old pal, Vicki). And congrats to Barbara, as well!

First here’s the original announcement:

Best Novella
Rick Blechta, The Boom Room, Orca Book Publishers
Vicki Delany, Juba Good, Orca Book Publishers
Ian Hamilton, The Dragon Head of Hong Kong, House of Anansi
Jas. R. Petrin, A Knock on the Door, Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine

and now the translated site’s version:

Greatest Novella
Rick Blechta, The Improve Room, Orca E book Publishers
Vicki Delany, Juba Simply Proper, Orca E-book Publishers
Ian Hamilton, The Dragon Head of Hong Kong, Area of Anansi
Jas. R. Petrin, A Knock on the Door, Alfred Hitchcock’s Thriller Magazine

I love The Improve Room and Juba Simply Proper. What great titles. Vicki and I should have used them. From now on I’m going to use the services of Google Translator, run my titles through several languages and then back to English. I’m sure it will make my publications far more memorable.

You’ll also notice that our category went from “Best Novella” to “Greatest Novella”. That’s a huge improvement. However it’s not as good as the change in the category in which Barbara is nominated. “Best Novel” changed to “Absolute Greatest Novel”. That means if she wins, she will have written the most important crime novel ever. Holy Mackinaw! What an honour!!

Here are the links to both lists (the official one and the one we’re talking about). There are several more translational gems:
Not to leave out the rest of the Type M crowd, here are examples of everyone’s book titles (from the left-hand column of this page) run through Google Translator. I think we’ll try English to Spanish to German to English:
  • From book and breaking by Vicki Delany (Not quite what she had in mind, I’m sure.)
  • What the Sawfly by Frankie Bailey (A mystery about insects. A first!)
  • None So Blind by Barbara Fradkin (She came through with flying colours!)
  • Roses for a Diva by Rick Blechta (So did I!)
  • Fatal Stroke by Sybil Johnson (Forget the artist crap and go for the gusto!)
  • Ill Feeling by Aline Templeton (A bit wishy-washy for the title of a mystery I’d say.)
  • Crossing Bitter by D.A. Keeley (Close, but no cigar, John)
  • Hidden Heritage by Charlotte Hinger (Obviously, Charlotte picked wisely.)
  • Wrong Hill to Die by Donis Casey (Must be a geographical mystery. Another first!)
  • Werewolf Smackdown by Mario Acevedo (The magic in this title defied translation!)

And finally, just to show you how much computer translations have helped understanding in our complicated world, I present the second paragraph in today’s post translated into Spanish, then German, and back to English:

That's a good thing, right? Spread the word throughout the world. Should come Garner preselection books increased sales due to its notoriety. Each winning publishers and authors.

See? Exactly the same! Err…

9 comments:

Sybil Johnson said...

Thanks for the laugh.

Sybil Johnson said...

I translated "Fatal Brush Stroke" (two words for brushstroke) from English to Spanish to German to English. Got "Fatal Brush Movement" this time.

Rick Blechta said...

That's even better.

You've always got to watch those brushes! They can be very dangerous.

Actually "Fatal Brush Movement" sounds like a pretty great name for a punk band.

If you want to get really wild, translate something about a half dozen times or more. Sometimes they come back completely unrecognizable.

Rick Blechta said...

And I should have included this one from the "Very Greatest Nonfiction E-Ebook" category:

Invoice Reynolds, Life Actual Loud: John Lefebvre, Neteller and the Revolution in On-line Enjoying, ECW Press

Anonymous said...

Best title creation post ever - and a great laugh. Might have to use Welsh as an intermediate language as my current work is set in that country. Cael diwrnod bendigedig ysgrifennu.

Rick Blechta said...

Thanks, Roland! But it was really like shooting fish in a barrel.

I wonder what Bill Reynolds thinks about his name being changed to Invoice Reynolds?

Diolch! Rwy'n bwriadu arno.

Donis Casey said...

My guess is the translator didn't like the fact that I ended my title with a preposition. Grammar police as well as translator!

Rick Blechta said...

Yeah, I guess if you'd titled it The Wrong Hill on Which to Die, teachers and grammar police would have cheered. Everyone else would have scratched their heads and wondered why.

Unknown said...

REVENGES, BREAKUP SPELL , WEIGHT LOSS SPELL, LUCK SPELLS, NATIVE HEALER, TRADITIONAL HEALER, HERBALIST, FORTUNE TELLER Call MOTHER DEITY on +2348067268474, for Psychic readings, Astrologer, Fortune teller, Love spells, lucky charms, Penis enlargement, women beauty products, African traditional healer, herbalist, Breast enlargement or lovespellcasters@yahoo.co.za Phone: +2348067268474
Website:http://revengespellcasters.co.za


Fertility spells
Get pregnant with the help of fertility spells to treat infertility
Fertility spells to heal infertility in men & fertility spells to heal infertility in women
Boost your chances of getting pregnant with fertility spells that will heal your womb & guide you through your pregnancy for a healthy pregnancy.
Contact us @ call +2348067268474

Fertility spells to heal infertility
Choose the sex of your baby with fertility spells before the baby is conceived. Powerful fertility rituals to have a child who is either male or female the choice is yours
If you want to have twins, order fertility spells custom made for your request. Banish hereditary disease and have a healthy child with fertility spells
Overcome problems of getting pregnancy and miscarriages in your life with fertility spells. If you have problems with weak erection or early ejaculation my fertility spells can help you.

Fertility spells
Cure infertility & prevent miscarriages with fertility spells. Infertility treatment that treats the causes and symptoms of infertility making you more fertile.
Have your fertility problem diagnosed and treated successfully with pregnancy spells that will heal your spiritual problems that are preventing you from becoming pregnancy..
Get pregnant faster with pregnancy spells by healing your reproductive system with fertility spells for woman and fertility spells for men

Pregnancy spells
Our pregnancy spells will help you conceive faster if you are having fertility problems and you want to have a baby.
If want to get pregnant sooner rather than later then the best way to boost your fertility is using pregnancy spells
removeall the forces, physical ailments & spiritual blockages that are delaying you from conceiving using pregnancy spells to help with conception.

Fertility spells for someone else
If you have a friend or a family member who have been trying to have children for a long time with no success, then cast these fertility spells on their behalf to heal their bareness & help them to conceive.
Help someone you care for get back their fertility with fertility spells that will remove all obstacles that are preventing them from having a child.

Fertility spells that work fast
Fertility spells are still popularly used nowadays. Often-times when medicine cannot treat or explain the cause of infertility, or when medical efforts have been proven as futile.
Fertility spells or Pregnancy spells are often used by couples who want to start their own family.
Fertility spell or pregnancy spells to ensure that a couple has a safe pregnancy and without any problems or complications.

Miscarriages banishing spells
A miscarriage is a heart wrenching experience, for couples that can lead to the blame game, depression, stress and even a divorce.
Fertility spells that deal with couples who are trying for a child but keep getting miscarriages.
The miscarriage banishing spell will cause you to get pregnant and guide you throughout the duration of your pregnancy until you have a healthy baby in your hands.

Spells to help Couple get pregnant
Both couples want the pregnancy, otherwise my fertility spells will give you a child who will not be loved.
If you have tried everything to get pregnant, but nothing seems to be working, then order this extremely powerful fertility love spell today.
Fertility love spells will increase fertility in men & women, increase sperm count, cause ovulation, help with hormone regulation and boosting libido

MOBILE +2348067268474
EMAIL lovespellcasters@yahoo.co.za
WEBSITE http://revengespellcasters.co.za