I (Donis) am doing rewrites on a new book. The first draft came in at 108,000 words, mainly because this is a whole new setting and cast of characters for me, and I spent a lot of time wandering around and getting to know them. So that's done. Now I have to get the MS down to a manageable size, and believe me, it is not proving to be an easy task. I do love my own voice.
If you want to keep your readers' attention, however, cut to the chase. Especially these days, as many readers have no patience with description or exposition. In fact, I once heard a Famous Author say one of the best things he ever did to improve his novel-writing style and technique was to learn to write poetry. I've pondered this statement and I must agree that there is nothing like poetry to teach you to use the fewest possible words to make the biggest possible impact on the reader.
The amazing thing is that once you've written a few poems, once you've learned to fit your idea into the shortest possible form, your long-form style automatically changes without your having to even think about it. Your prose gains a vigor it didn't have before, because its power isn't dissipated in a miasma of unnecessary words.
That's the idea behind haiku, the style of Japanese poetry that strives to make a point, capture a moment, punch you between the eyes. To give you a powerful image in seventeen syllables, three lines of five, seven, and five.
I was looking for a few gorgeous haiku to use as an illustration of the beauty of brevity, a couple of gems about nature and mankind by great ancient practitioners like Basho. Instead I came across translations of several modern haiku written by software geeks in Japan for use as computer error messages. I think they show that an ancient form can serve modern sensibilities dandily.
Windows has crashed/I am the Blue Screen of Death/No one hears your screams.
Three things are certain/Death, taxes, and loss data/Guess which has occurred?
Yesterday it worked/Today it is not working/Windows is like that.
You step in the stream/But the water has moved on/This page is not here.
Serious error/All shortcuts have disappeared/ Screen. Mind. Both are blank.