This blog by 15-year-old Kaley Whittle recently appeared on the Poisoned Pen Press blog. I'm using it with her permission. I've rarely seen so many comments. I met Kaley at Bouchercon last year. She is delightful and phenomenal. The snide italicized comments are those of her mother, the talented Tina Whittle, who normally is quite prudent. Kaley's Post:

Throes of Creation by Leonid Pasternak

Throes of Creation by Leonid Pasternak

Having lived with a writer my entire life, I feel that I am duly qualified to explain what it’s like to share a residence with one. They’re generally grumpy or sleepy or angry (or any of the other dwarfs). They have rejected our reality and decided to create their own, which has given them the unique ability to adjust the way they view the entire world. This, not surprisingly, does not make them any easier to live with, and I have compiled the following to help you understand what it’s like to live with a writer for 15 years. Warning: Slight exaggeration may occur, as this was written by a 15-year-old at 1 a.m. There may also be excessive italics.

Ten Reasons It’s Impossible to Live With a Writer: A List

1. They always seem to know what they’re talking about, and when they don’t, they just make it up.

2. They use big words to make themselves sound smarter. It is the eldest ploy in the tome.

3. They can’t form real words until they’ve got at least one pot of coffee in them.

4. Their characters do all these truly insane things like jumping off mountains and finding dead bodies and shooting live ones. They write as if they’ve done all this wild stuff and experienced all these exciting stories and visited so many exotic places, but they really just sit at home on their computers with their coffee as they type in addresses on Google maps.

5. They are extremely protective of their computer, and should you actually gain access to their private technology monster (which only happens once every Blue Moon) it’s impossible to use because all the letters have been worn off.

6. Too many TV mysteries. Enough said.

7. There is a butt dent in the sofa/chair/loveseat/whatever they sit in all day every day, but only their butt fits into it, so it is impossible for anybody except themselves to be comfortable.

8. Their characters are literally everywhere (and I mean “literally” literally). They’re on the bookshelves, under the tables, in between the sofa cushions and lots of other places you’d never expect to find a character lurking.

9. If some important government program ever searches their Google history, I’m pretty sure their entire family would all go to jail.

10. They are the world’s biggest introverts and will do anything humanly possibly to stay in their aforementioned chair. Wanna go to the park? No, it’s too hot. How about the movies? It’s too cold. Can we go grab some dinner? That takes too long, just find something in the pantry. The house is flooding and we have to leave before it grasps us in its liquidy embrace! Suck it up, I’m sure you’ll live.
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 Kaley Whittle is fifteen-year-old sophomore who reads too much and has an unhealthy attraction to office supplies and cheesy sci-fi romances. She is not a writer, which she will tell you pointedly and with great fervor even as she continues to write.

Tina Whittle is a mystery writer living and working in the Georgia Lowcountry. Her current novel, Blood, Ash, and Bone — the third in the Tai Randolph/Trey Seaver series — is available now. The fourth book — Deeper Than the Grave — debuts November 2014.  Visit to learn more