Do Private Investigators Carry Guns?

 By Steve Pease, retired PI and writer

  Genre fiction is beset with clichés. Medical shows on TV, cop shows, PI shows. The tropes come with the territory and readers won’t feel entertained if some clichés aren’t there. Here’s one of the biggest PI clichés.

   You know the scene. The PI confronts the bad guy and a gunfight breaks out. The PI has a 38 Colt snubbie on his belt or under his arm; the bad guy has a 45 Auto or a machine gun. I guess that evens things out. The bad guy takes one in the arm or shoulder, but the PI is seldom hit.

   In reality, PIs seldom carry anything lethal, maybe pepper spray.

   What do I do? I have training in firearms, from the military and civilian companies, and I practice at a civilian range where I shoot 25-50 rounds each from several different guns quarterly. I carry a knife in my coin pocket, sometimes others secretly here and there. I have a SIG 9mm and a Beretta 22 off-body, ie not in a shoulder holster or on my belt. They’re in bags I’m carrying. Both are automatics. My 38 Special snubnose revolver (of course I have one!) is at home because it’s too big to carry. I have a coin purse that makes a fine blackjack. Sometimes I carry the small Beretta in an ankle holster or in an in-pants hidden holster. I have a million-volt stunner and some old bear spray – in the bags.

   I meet my clients in a non-advertised office and I seldom carry a weapon when investigating. My assisted-opening folding pocket knife is mostly a tool. I work at my computer where guns aren’t needed and I go to the Courthouse where guns aren’t allowed.

   I have been threatened by Subjects, pissed-off husbands, neighbors, and strangers. My fault for being discovered (burned) in the first place. I’m not sure I want to conduct investigations at a location where I might need the guns. I don’t take jobs in bad neighborhoods at night, but maybe during the day. I don’t drive a car with anonymous plates, but that’s a thought for the future. My office has no sign on the building or on my door. I have a Colorado Concealed Carry Permit. I sometimes carry because of the mass shootings you read about, not because of my business. I am in the information business.

   A PI has NO special legal privileges to carry a gun. Even PIs who have retired Police credentials have to understand they no longer are cops and can’t pull their gun to intimidate or influence perps. The court can take their guns away. And their license.

   PI specialties that call for weapons, like Executive Protection ie bodyguard, are Very specialized. In New Mexico, it requires a special armed PI license, proof of expensive training, and Very Expensive insurance. I had a guy with a problem that wanted protection during a financial transaction. He thought that should cost $100. “You guys do that, right?” I declined, saying I wasn’t trained or licensed and, anyway, the fee would be $5000+.

   Guns are good in fictional action scenes, but I usually use a non-lethal alternative. The alternative works well in real life too.

As Sick as a Parrot

Sybil here. I’ve been working through the comments from my editor for my next book, Paint the Town Dead. As usual, she has many useful things to say. And, as usual, some cliches have managed to slip through. To keep the flow of writing going, I don’t worry about cliches in the first draft, but I do try to excise them from the one I send to my editor.

This exercise got me thinking about cliches and how to get rid of them so I consulted my trusty(?) internet and came up with a few websites that I thought you all might find interesting.

The first one that popped up was from the Oxford Dictionary, which had a procedure to help get rid of cliches in your writing. (‘Cause as a former programmer, I can relate to algorithms and procedures.) What struck me as funny about this one was the first “cliche” noted on the site: as sick as a parrot. Well, as a United Statesian*, I had never heard of this one. Had to look it up on the internet to find out it means “to be very disappointed”. I’ve never read or heard this anywhere here in the U.S. I assume, given this is an Oxford Dictionary site, this is a British thing. Is it common in Canada as well? Has anyone heard it in the U.S.?

The next site I visited was tips from Grammar Girl on avoiding cliches. This one has some interesting historical tidbits on where some cliches come from as well as suggestions on how to get rid of them. Plus there are some links at the bottom of the article that I found interesting.

One in particular was the Phrase Finder where you can type in a word like “cat” and it’ll tell you phrases that include that word. Raining cats and dogs, no room to swing a cat,... For each phrase there’s a discussion on its origins. Great fun if you want to avoid doing real work.

And the last site I found before I gave up on searching was http://writing2.richmond.edu/writing/wweb/cliche.html

I’m sure there are a lot more sites out there with tips but I must get back to my edits since they’re due in a week.

*United Statesian – see Donis Casey’s post awhile back on Thanksgiving where she mentions the phrase in a footnote: http://typem4murder.blogspot.com/2014/11/thanksgiving-already.html