Reflections on Point of View and Tense

 In my last post, I shared a few thoughts on guidelines for writing a short story. As I am not good at following orders, or rules, I have broken all those guidelines at one time or another, but nonetheless, they can at least help as a self-editing tool if the story you are writing doesn't work.

I have just completed the first draft of my latest short story. Not having written a short story in ten years, I'm a little rusty, and when I got the first draft mess up on my computer and read it, I was unimpressed. It felt flat and emotionally distant. I thought I was putting in enough tension, but it wasn't translating into an intense story. It's a simple story that followed most of my guidelines. A single setting, a short timeline, few characters, minimalist description,  a linear plot, and a single POV, with the backstory revealed not in flashbacks but in internal monologue.

I could turf the whole story and start a new one, but with the submission deadline looming, I didn't think I had time. And no brilliant ideas were coming my way.

I thought about POV. The story was in what I call "deep" third person; I stay in that character's head and delves quite deeply into their reactions, thoughts and feelings. It's a POV I like and have used for all my novels, because I find first person is too limiting when writing a 300-page novel. However, first person has the advantage of drawing the reader quickly into the world of the main character. This ramps up tension and drama because the main character is talking directly to the reader. The reader is "along for the ride" most vividly in a first-person POV story.

Another technique for ramping up drama is the use of present tense. Present tense can come off pretentious, but well done, it creates a sense of immediacy, because the action is unfolding right before the readers eyes rather than in some distant past.

So I decided to see what would happen if I simply changed to first person POV and wrote in the present tense. I am only halfway through this rewrite, so I don't know how it's going to work out and whether it's going to strengthen the story, but I've already discovered a few things. First, I can get rid of most of the "she said" and "she thought" phrases, which were in themselves creating distance between the character and the reader. Second, the language needed to be more colloquial, more like a person talking rather than writing a PhD thesis. People don't think in complete sentences or big words, especially when caught up in the stress of the moment. 

By the time of my next Type M post, I should be near the finish line and able to report on which version I will submit. Meanwhile I'd love to hear your thoughts and preferences about POV and present tense, 

Musings on Writing in Present Tense

 

I settle down in my chair and open the book. A smile spreads across my face as I read the words on the page. A sound outside causes me to look up moments before the bullet breaks the glass in a nearby window, narrowly missing me. I... 

Hmmm. that was easier than I thought it would be. It seems very odd and unnatural for me to write a story in present tense. I noticed that, when I wrote the few lines at the start of this post, that I opted for first person, not third, which is my normal comfort zone. Somehow, first person seems more natural when it comes to present tense.

I’ve never written a story in present tense. I have no problem reading books or short stories written in it. I know there are people out there who are adamantly opposed to reading anything written in present tense. That’s not me. As long as it’s a good story, it doesn’t matter to me what tense or person it’s written in as long as it’s well done and captures my interest. Okay, maybe I’d have an issue with something written in second person.

What got me started on these musings about present tense? I recently picked up the first book in the Oxford Key mystery series by Lynn Morrison, Murder at St. Margaret. It’s a cozy mystery series set at, you guessed it, Oxford University. The main character is an event planner who also happens to be one of the caretakers of magic at the university. It’s a fun read with interesting characters and a good mystery. It took me about a chapter before I realized it was written in present tense. The same was true when I picked up Confessions of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella. In both cases, I noted it, then pretty much ignored it and kept reading.

I’ve read a lot of cozy mysteries over the years. This is the first time I’ve found one written in present tense. Maybe there are others out there, but I haven’t run across them.

That got me wondering if I could write a decent story in present tense and what kind of story would best be told that way. I’ve heard that present tense creates a sense of immediacy you don’t find in past tense. The events seem to play out in real time. Honestly, I’m not sure it makes that much difference to me.

Maybe those of you who teach writing could enlighten me on writing in present tense. The few YA novels I’ve read, like The Hunger Games, seem to be written in that tense. Is that a rule for YA these days? 

I’m also curious about everyone’s opinion on reading books written in present tense. Do you like it, hate, don’t care? How long did it take you to notice the book was written in present tense?