Random thoughts about Private Eye stories

 by Michael Chandos

     In "real life", whatever that is, I have been a multi-State licensed private investigator. I'm putting that aside this year to clean up my house clogged with clutter, to finish projects I started years ago, and to get my writing process into gear rather than the spare time activity it has become. I write PI short stories and a novel is also forming up. I read other writers' interpretations of PI tradecraft and I am usually disappointed.  I don't expect or want stories that sound like instruction manuals, but some of the clichés in PI stories persist when they are easily checkable.

     Booze - The pace in a hard-working PI Agency is pretty intense, especially if you are working for the Defense in a trial, but every client wants an answer in the short time it takes CSI to solve a case on TV. A PI doesn't have much downtime when a case is on the books (we usually work only one at a time). Drunkenness and lost time are bad. I don't have a bottle in the bottom drawer. A beer in my tiny fridge, maybe.  I mean, there are moments, you know? If you (your protag) is surveilling a Subject, the PI needs to understand drinking and its effects on human behavior to understand and perhaps predict what the Subject might do. And if the Subject goes into a bar, you have to look and act like you've been in one before, or you Will be noticed. It's not good tradecraft to be burned by the Subject because you are not prepared.

     Guns - Most PIs I know do not carry guns. We are Research Librarians, stalkers (not illegally, of course) and human counselors. None of those tasks requires a weapon. If you want to work in locations where a gun might be a good/bad decision, the licensing State and your insurance company need to know all about it. The State will require much more training and certification, and your insurance rates will soar. If you get in a "situation" and you are freelancing as an armed PI, you will lose your license and maybe a few years of your freedom. This is a concealed carry State (so far), so I have a pistol in my equipment bag. But not in a shoulder holster. I have had the husband of a female client damn near break my door down because she hired me to follow him on a little escapade. He went to jail for a little rest. PIs carrying a weapon in the line of business is an exception. Executive Protection is the main task for armed PIs.

     Real Life - PIs are people, real people. They need to eat, pee, sleep, pay rent. They get scared, make errors, run low on gas. Part of the cliche demands the PI have a quirk. They collect rare stamps, cook, knit, play piano. That's ok, because real people do that too. But, they don't NEED a quirk to fill out their character.

     Errors - I have a patch on my carry bag that says "Bad decisions make good stories". So true. Detectives used to be written like they have special knowledge, that they could tap into some storehouse of rare facts that solve the case to everyone's surprise. Dashiell Hammett changed all that. His Namless Detective made mistakes and he suffered for his errors, but he was very good at street-level investigation, so mistakes were few and we got to see him figure it out. American mystery writers in the early 20th Century changed how mysteries were written.

     An anecdote, then I'm out here.  When a new client comes in, we have a long discussion to get down to the essence of what they want. We strip away the TV influences, and we agree on the specific wording of the tasks they are hiring me to look into. They tell me about themselves, the Subject, and the situation. Do I accept it? I trust but verify by doing some quick research on the client. I want to verify they are telling me the truth and that they aren't asking me to violate a Restraining Order. PIs who don't check the client get into trouble. 

     Recently, two PIs were arrested for harassment. They were tasked to find a man and his family. They didn't check out their clients or establish what the client intended to do with the information. There is a smart protocol about "Locates". You don't tell the client the answer unless they are represented by Counsel. There are other rules, but my point is that these PIs found the man, and they told the clients where they were. The clients then savagely threatened the Subject and his family - - unless he returned to China. The clients were Chinese agents, and they used the PIs to find Chinese Nationals hiding from retribution. The agents got away, the PIs lost their business and went to jail. True stuff.

     That would make a good thriller, wouldn't it? And you don't need quirks or other crutches to make it a terrific story to read.