Showing posts with label dysfunctional family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dysfunctional family. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 19, 2024

I Hired a PI - the conclusion

 By Catherine Dilts

My previous post on Type M for Murder (11/5/24) described the events that led to hiring a real-life private investigator. Quick recap – when my father passed, we needed to find his estranged step-son (let’s call him James, to protect his obviously highly treasure privacy), who was included in the will.

June 25 - First contact from me: “Hello Steve, I mentioned to you that my family is trying to locate my deceased father's stepson. I was under the impression the amount of money we were inheriting was not worth hiring someone to track him down. Now my brother says we really need to find James, because the inheritance is too much to stick in a sock drawer in the event the guy resurfaces. My question to you - is it possible to hire you to locate a missing person? What's the process and estimated cost?”


We wouldn’t have required a PI if there hadn’t been paranoia and suspicion on both ends of our search. I was concerned about contacting the wrong people with a “you’ve inherited money” message. James was reluctant about replying to the promise of money if he would confirm his identity.

Steve Pease, aka author Michael Chandos, is also a Type M for Murder contributor. As a licensed private investigator, Steve knows plenty about finding people. But first, the bad news: Steve was retiring from the PI business. Followed by the good news: Steve was willing to take a look.

June 25 - Steve replied, “depending on how much you know about James, birth date, locations of things, any previous contacts, maybe I can find him… Do you have photos, SSAN, former locations?... What do you know about him? Does he know who his father was? Does he want to be found? Things like that….”

James had distanced himself from family, including the one person I hoped knew where he was: his aunt. She hadn’t heard from him in over two years. My brother’s law office paralegal had cobbled together a little info. I gathered what I had learned with my amateur sleuthing. We were thin on data.

After a call to my brother, we realized we knew pathetically little about this guy who was part of our family. I felt guilty I hadn’t made more of an effort to connect with him. But we were adults when our father and James’ mother married. James had been an unruly teen in high school. There just hadn’t been the time, or I suppose the desire, to forge relationships.

June 28 - I couldn’t decipher whether Steve was frustrated or amused when he emailed, “Literally ANYTHING you can remember, from all the basic history, and then any tidbit of content, places, other people that may know him. Circumstances - how did you lose him?” 

As a writer, I love stories. And the contorted family history made for a story I could tell. After wrenching the memories from my reluctant brain, I typed up a page of everything I knew about James, my father and his wife, and the estrangement.

July 1 - “Hi Steve, This might be a little rambling, but I put together what I have. I can try to dig for more info if this isn't helpful. It should be highly entertaining, though.”

July 3 - To which Steve responded, “This is a great model for a Southern Murder Mystery potboiler.”

James’ mother was a Louisiana girl who desperately craved to be a Southern Belle. My father was a Midwestern guy thrilled to attract the attention of a much younger woman. When James came out of the closet, although my father accepted him, his own mother cut him out of her life.

July 12 – Over two weeks into the investigation, Steve attended a PI seminar. He presented our missing step-brother case for a brief group discussion. Steve told me we needed hard data, like James’ Social Security number. I began to worry we’d be unable to locate James.

Steve sounded less optimistic, too. “Maybe James is no longer in Colorado. I did not find him on any prison inmate listings.”

That is how little I knew my step-brother. I had entertained the idea he might be in jail. Or living under a bridge.

July 13 - Steve sent me this. “He either moved or did a serious drop-out.” Again, Steve requested James’ exact birth date and social security number.

Later that same day, James responded to an email from Steve. At the same email address my brother had used to contact him. Coming from Steve Pease of Glass Key Investigations LLC must have convinced James the attempt to contact him was legit.

Steve asked James to provide some details to prove he was actually our James. The info was not in my father’s online obituary. Only family knew this stuff. Yes, this James definitely was the right guy.

After confirming my brother was able to make contact with James, Steve closed our case. He sent us a report on his methodology and the results of the search. James really didn’t want to be found, but now he seems happy to be in contact with his step-siblings, on his own terms.

July 14 - “We are lucky a simple route found him,” Steve reported. “I queried top level county databases and the Colorado Secretary of State's databases, and was about to dig deeper. This email contact was lucky and it eliminates the lengthier inquiry, and it is cheaper.” 

My family is all about cheap. So, a happy ending? A family healed? Sort of. We’ve reached out to James. He knows our email addys. It’s on him if he wants to try to establish relationships at this late date.

If you need to hire a PI to find your own missing relative, here’s what I learned. Life is not a Hallmark movie. The best ending might be simply to acknowledge everyone is alive and not in jail. Another lesson learned – keep track of people. Don’t let them fall off the grid entirely. Otherwise, you might end up paying a PI to dig up info you could have known all along.