What Did He Say?>

 I, Donis, have been working as Writer in Residence for Glendale, AZ, Public Library, which as most of you Dear Readers know, entails both private consultations and giving classes on the art, craft, and business of writing fiction. I've been WIR at other libraries before, but this is the first time I've done it since the end of the pandemic, so I've been having to brush up on my oration skills. In a week or so I'll be sharing my hard-earned knowledge on that most elusive concept of voice, and on effective ways to write dialog. One thing I've noticed about beginning writers is their tendency to either use too many florid tags in their dialog. Or so few tags we're awash in a sea of people talking but we've long ago lost track of who said what.

Hemingway said that dialog is not real speech, it’s the illusion of real speech. I’m sure, Dear Reader, that you’ve read Elmore Leonard’s admonitions that one should try to never use a verb other than ‘said’ to carry dialogue, or that one should never use an adverb to modify the verb “said”.

On his website, the great Tim Hallinan suggests that instead, the writer “use body language: Dialogue broken up by description of what characters are doing provides context and also projects an image. When someone other than our protagonist is speaking in a scene, what is our protagonist doing? Are her hands at rest? Does she listen intently? Does she squirm in the chair. Drum her fingers? Twist her hair? We convey a lot without saying a word.”

I like that idea.

For instance,:

"Nonsense," Martha interjected, is a perfectly acceptable sentence, but if I were a fly on the wall, I might see what Martha is doing when she says this. One might try something like, Martha straightened, indignant. “Nonsense."

Rather than "Question?" Beth offered. try Beth held up a finger (or leaned forward, or tapped the table). “Question?"

And rather than "Okay, Beth. Ask it," Joel replied, consider having Joe sigh, roll his eyes, flop back in his chair, then, "Okay, Beth. Ask it."

You can come up with better examples, but you get the picture. Of course the "rules" are really suggestions.

As far as the current popular idea in publishing of only using "said"... I use "noted" and "agreed" and "asked" and the like plenty of times myself. But I do think that the take-away points are: 1) don't use descriptors that draw attention to themselves, like, "he asservated", because that puts the author in the picture, and 2) if you can describe the situation, body language, etc., in lieu of a dialog tag, that's the best way to let the reader see what's going on and draw her own conclusions rather than having the author tell her.